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an ear.
For clarity purposes; GT doesn’t offer advice.
*Snickers*
And I generally hate the word because it can be such a trick bag loaded gun where I have either wanted to blow out a friend’s brains or my own. Call me a Debbie Downer but here are my top 5 reasons why I don’t give advice:
- 99.99% of the time the person who seeks the advice knows exactly what they are going to do. They just want to know whether they’ll have you in their corner once they make the decision.
- Giving advice is fickle because people will generally use it to counter-criticize you. Yes I have been called a self-righteous prick, judgmental, obsessed with self-actualization, and even robotic.
- People generally don’t want advice; they want a(n) sounding board ear.
- Your advice could be wrapped in hundred dollar bills…if a person isn’t ready to receive the life lesson they won’t get it.
- Sometimes giving advice is like the equivalent of peddling sacks of craptastic bullshit. Often is the case where something may have worked for you; but won’t work with others.
- *Stay away from emotional train wrecks whenever possible; they will suck the life out of you.
My readers may read this blog for advice. But its more like GT just living by example. I like to think of what I do as a buffet service. You won’t like everything being served but you’ll get to choose what’ll work for you. *
What have been your experiences on giving/receiving advice?
*Recommendation.
on September 24th, 2008 at 10:57 am
If I’m asked, I offer it. I also have learned to sit back and be more of a sounding board because why employ brain cells when folk know what they want to do?
As far as receiving it, I’ve been blessed to have some really wise people in my life. I also have been blessed with enough common sense to let my conscience be my guide most of the time.
on September 24th, 2008 at 11:45 am
TJ.
My point exactly. And yes wise people are a blessing. The point of this blog is to emphatically go back to the source of what’s true for you. Of course throwing a couple of parties, eating fabu meals, traveling to unknown places and loving as many people as you can never hurts…
on September 24th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I share experiences and observations, but give no advice. If in the midst of sharing, someone can take something from my experience, that’s great. I am most receptive to people who share their stories and their life lessons because it’s not advice, it’s life. That’s different.
I don’t come to GT for advice. I visit because of what you share about lessons learned.
on September 24th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Simone & TJ.
After long drawn out sessions of “why me? ” infidelity…I once had a ex-friend who “Marie Antoinette” me because I suggested that her husband did her a favor by leaving her. Not only did he leave her for another woman; but he had little respect for her, cheated on her several times; even spitting on her on front of her daughter.
True Story.
She flipped on me and said that I wouldn’t understand the investment of a 10 year marriage and that I wanted her to be alone. She also said that if I were in her shoes I wouldn’t be so quick to tell her to end her marriage.
Lesson learned for GT. Sometimes people only want you to tell them what they want to hear; and I stay as far away from those types as possible. They are scary as hell to me.
on September 24th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
It’s why is say “Advice. Shmidvice.”
People will do what they want to do.
on September 24th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I think I’ll sign up for two of the throwing fabu parties, traveling to new places and loving as many people as I can packages.
on September 24th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Amen GT & TJ. Now if I could just have some quality time with Wentworth Miller, I’d die happy. LMAO!
on September 24th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Love Number 4 the most. LMAO @ Hundred dollar Bils…
With that said. Once again..you’re right. I almost always have my mind made up about a decision…but you want you’re choices validated by friends sometimes…
on November 20th, 2008 at 3:08 am
[...] offer my readers and lurkers some ideas on how to eat the elephant in your life’s room. But remember…GT don’t do advice…cause grown folks 18 to 80 do what they want regardless of [...]