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honest tea.
Get Togetha has faced a pandora’s box of resistance from friends, family and lurkers.
Because preaching living passion, living quality, the creation of your own rules, non-conformity and self-empowerment can be very tricky; particularly for people of color who are very conditioned to think, be, live and act according to the rules of life’s coloring book: Coloring on the inside is good. Coloring on the outside is bad, bad, bad.
This conversation goes beyond those who earned 128 credits and those who didn’t. What GT is talking about here is wine vs. licker, film vs. movies, Toni Morrison vs. Omar Tyree, Anthropologie, having a Mid-Wife, A Master’s Degree, Whole Foods, Eastern Philosophy, Macbooks, herbal teas, yoga, wearing you hair natural, and trips to Paris and Tuscany on your to do list. Oooh gurl you so saddity!
Not only is there a high risk that you’ll be misunderstood; but you’ll be perpetually labeled as either an elitist, a snob, or the proverbially overused “boogey.” Translation: Oooh you so different!, you think you special, you shit rose petals and tulips, and you dare to be uncommon. The nerve!
Now with that said; pretentiousness is real. Walk into any Starbucks and you’ll find a Disney Land type hipster fakeness mixed with those who yes! take their B.A’s and B.S’s pun intended a little too seriously. The happy medium is learning how to be your own bad ass self without apology. GT recommends that you color outside the lines of life’s coloring book; that’s where the truth of life is at.
Why does scratching and surviving mean authenticity? In what areas of your life have you been afraid to color outside of the lines?
on October 21st, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Scratching and surviving means authenticy for a lot of Black people because for the longest time it was all we knew, and even today there are so many of us who are not exposed to life outside of licker, Omar Tyree, permed hair, and vacations to go visit the cousins and ‘em Down South. There’s nothing wrong with that, but there’s so much more to life than things that have been collectively labeled as things that Black people do. And lattes are GREAT, how could I not relish in those from time to time?! But seriously–holding an advanced degree, moving out of the ‘hood, and having high (but reasonable) standards for yourself does not make you less Black; it simply shows that you want more for yourself as a human being. Period.
I love your website, by the way.
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on October 21st, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Dang. She’s Got to have it. Couldn’t have said that better myself.
To add: Gt. I think you hit the nail on fear. Once again it goes back to back to our folks being afraid to step outside the box and color ( I love how you used that!) outside of the lines.
That’s why Obama inspires me so much because he plays by the rules and color outside the lines…
I’ve always wanted to start my own business…but I’m scared shitless…
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on October 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I think it’s because having an easy life is associated with “sell-outs” and “white-washed” people. It’s so narrow minded and ridiculous, IMO. Nothing wrong with doing your own thing, so I really don’t see why so much effort is put in by other people to knock it.
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on October 21st, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Thank you much. She’s Gotta Have it.
Sometimes we forget that we’re human first and black second. I love Being Black; really I do. But I’ll be damned if that means I have to live my life in the narrowest of scopes.
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on October 21st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Done.
Since I’ve always been the “snotty” one, I guess I’ve always colored outside the lines by nature. I don’t mind being who I am–took me a little to get here, but I’m okay with me. My blackness is always questions by black people. That sucks. For them, mostly! I can relate, in some fashion, even if I haven’t had to do much scratching and surviving. I’m human and that’s how *I* relate to people!
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on October 21st, 2008 at 5:29 pm
When people get comfortable with an impoverished mindset, anyone who is not strapped for cash is not perceived as keeping it real. That is sad, but that’s how things are sometimes.
I’ve never been that chick who put much, if any, stock into what other people thought of my choices. So I guess I’ve colored outside of the lines on just about everything important.
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on October 21st, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Interesting concept to ponder…
Well, I changed my name, and that damned near killed all the black folks I knew. Then, I bought a house, and people started saying stupid “ish” like, “I thought you said you ain’t have no money.”
For real, I am just being regular; I think the narrow(ness) of our folks comes from underexposure.When all you know/see is black people scratching and surviving, the hustle seems authentic to you. It takes a lot of patience, openness and serious committment to admit that yo momma’s way may not have been the best way even though you “turned out ok.”
Kudos to GT and all of y’all on this site for being willing to fight that good fight, because sometimes I feel like jumping back into those lines might make everything better, but I know it won’t.
So, I am going to just be me…
~Ramona
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on October 21st, 2008 at 10:14 pm
I’d definitely say leaving the Corp. world and starting my own gig. I want to be an independent contractor, but have hesitated. It’s more about direction and passion than fear. Once I know what I want, look out!
I had some dude I didn’t even know pull a Negro Police routine and call me out for visiting Greece before Africa. I told him where he could go and that was the end of the “conversation.”
Great post GT. Fear is a b*tch and places limitations on our minds that are no good.
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 12:17 am
LMAO! @ Negro Police Routine…glad to know that you told him to kiss your grits.
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 12:17 am
I’m reading yalls comments…Gosh you ladies are awesome!
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 am
I can’t even leave an intelligent comment because I’m too busy Arsenio Hallin’ you behind this MacBook. I am completely unapologetic in my adult life, a gift I have given myself in the last 4 yrs, and it has done me right.
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 2:30 am
Jazzy,
Although I am a little confused about the meaning of “Arsenio Hallin y’all,” I love your gift to Self. I can probably stand to be a bit more unapologetic.
Peace.
~Ramona
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 3:22 am
Yes. Arsenio Hall? Explain yourself gurl!! LOL..
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 9:41 am
I am not even going to ask why we were all up and on the Web at 2:00-3:00 in the AM!!! LOL.
~Ramona
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I think Arsenio Hallin’ means she’s doing that punching the air *woop woop* hand/arm gesture thing he used to do on his show.
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Oh! Duh!…Thanks for clearing that up SGHI.
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on October 22nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Thank you ‘Shes gotta have it”!!! Is there a PC term for that move? I think I’ve mastered it in the last 15 years.
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on October 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
woooo… natural hair. you can have it, but you better “do somethin with it” and don’t let it less than shoulder length. its like some of us are halfway exposed so natural is only ok with restrictions. or being a young entrepreneur… don’t be in college and actually make money on your own terms lol
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on October 29th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Gurl Speak!
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