truth serum.
The word truth is thrown around a lot; such much so that truth has become mistaken for opinion and “one size fits all” pathology. But aha!…There’s truth then there’s social conditioning. Social conditioning is when operate your life through other people’s “shoulds”; as a result you can’t decide what’s best for you. The social conditioning buffet is served fresh and daily and sounds a little something like this:
“I’m nothing if I don’t make a lot of money and can’t cop the latest and greatest. I don’t have enough money to change. If I try I will fail; then people will laugh at me. Having a Master’s is the new high school diploma. I’m not a complete woman unless someone is willing to give me their name. Only people with connections, valued beauty and wealth have the right to have whatever they want.”
In the meantime you’re stuck with a person who’s not the right fit, what you really want is more money; not another damn degree, you despise your thankless job, and you experience daily waves of resentment because you don’t have the biggest toy box.
Then there’s what I like to call truth serum. It’s the freeing and daily ability to step into the light of your own truth. Cause the truth of the truth is that your truth is your truth. It’s called living authentically. No matter how much you try you’ll never be able to shove your size ten foot into a seven.
Tell the truth, daily. If you think GT sucks total ass. I can get with that. A bunch of Buddha Baloney? Share that too. You hate your life, you’ve outgrown your best friend, you’re living in a hot mess; admit to it. The rub of all of this is that you have to be ready, willing and able to connect with your own daily doses of the serum; otherwise you authenticity will escape you. That would make you…a phoney baloney.
Posted by gt on December 18, 2008
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Bohemian Bookworm — December 18, 2008 @ 12:38 pm
I am outgrowing my “best friend”. The quotes are because she calls me her best friend but I do not call her my best friend. She is cool and I love her, but we do not have anything in common anymore. She’s in my life because she has been in my life since high school…I’m sure ya’ll know the type. I don’t want to just cut her off because I care about her and her family, but it’s becoming a chore to maintain the friendship on my end.
Re: The Masters degrees; it’s true they are like the new high school diploma. But you have to make sure you are pursuing one to get to an end that you desire, not just to make money rain. I chose graduate programs based on the money thing and I was miserable. Now I am in a program that I love, that is exciting, and that I do well in and it’s a whole world of difference.
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FirstL8dy — December 18, 2008 @ 1:59 pm
Wow.
My authenticity can’t escape becuase it never existed. I’ve live my whole life wanting what others had. Long hair, perfect shape, lighter skin, etc. etc. And now that I am 25, it’s too hard to continue this way. It’s easier just to be me, only I have no clue who that is. All my close friends who matter know the old me, and they INSIST on continuing ot make me that person even when I am trying my HARDEST to escape her. They won’t let me, what do I do? How do you past that?
For a long time, I thought if I just had a man…. but Glory and Thanks be to God, for not giving you everything you ask for, cause you may need the total opposite of what you;re asking. What I needed was time with me. The more I wanted a man that i didn’t have or either had the wrong one or somebody else’s. Then I ALWAYS seemed to attract those who had a woman and wanted me for side booty or just the side or those who claimed I was their woman and had side booty on the side or……… WAIT! OMG, I am going to cry…seriously, I spent my whole life wanting what other’s hadTHEREFORE I attracted that that wasn’t mine! This is deep…… wow… .. I have to end this on that note.
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FirstL8dy — December 18, 2008 @ 2:02 pm
End the comment for the record…. not my life or anything….. LOL… I mean I had a break through not a break down….
LOL. Sorry.
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Alicia/InstantVintage — December 18, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
I have some soul searching to do. Mostly I ignore my truths just to make sure I get by…never a good look.
Thanks, GT. I really appreciate your writing and this blog. =)
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ChocolateOrchid — December 18, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
Awesome and honest post!! I totally agree! It has taken me thirty some-odd years to grab hold to my own truth (that which
I’m still learning) and then to appreciate it. And truthfully, it can be a daily battle to stay on top of but it is something that I’m getting better and better at. I am enjoying this journey of authenticity.
Thanks for this post.
Peace…
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Harlem Chic — December 18, 2008 @ 2:57 pm
GT.
You are on a roll sista fiyah. And I love it. Living in truth ain’t easy. Especially when you have friends and family that judge you on the daily and give you those “who do you think you are” looks? It’s not easy to face that every day when stepping outside of your comfort zone. You are talking some seriously powerful stuff…
A lot of it is about caring what other people think…and I am guilty, guilty. guilty.
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Simone — December 18, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
Deja Vu all over again. You and I had this chat, so you know my deal. I will say this, being who are you are and fighting daily to achieve an authentic life is one of the best things one can do for oneself.
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Naturally Alise — December 18, 2008 @ 6:30 pm
I too have outgrown my bestie. Bless her heart but it is draining to talk to her, hear her bitch with no plans of how to fix anything, and her laziness makes my blood boil, and i am not judging, i complain, but it is complaining with action behind it, I work hard, I network, I move forward. I have gotten stuck but I still move forward.
I don’t like my mate’s career/financial situation right now, and find it hard to encourage him bc it feels disingenuous at times, but he is finally letting me in and letting me help and give real advice and pointers and not resenting it, bc he realized that i kinda know how to dig myself out of a rut, been there, done that, got the tshirt…. i think i strayed off the topic but felt good to get it out….
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Rainy Day Diva — December 18, 2008 @ 7:35 pm
Thanks! You just saved me a $15 copay.
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GT — December 18, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
You guys posted some great perspectives…living your truth does affect relationships of all kinds from work, to childhood, to intimate. I suspect that’s why so many of us play the role…but once you connect with and accept your truth your life is limitless..
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B — December 19, 2008 @ 11:03 am
I love this post, and it definitely needs to be written, especially at this time of year when people are reflecting on what was, and looking forward to what will be…I’ve started to see that living an authentic life is really the only way to live…otherwise you’re wasting the gifts that were given to you. It’s a hard road to travel sometimes, but it’s a necessary one. I’ve come to understand and accept some truths in various relationships of mine, with family, the bf, ex-bfs, homegirls, ex-homegirls…you get the point. And it’s so FREEING. I’m sitting here in one of those “thankless jobs” GT mentioned, and 2009 will definitely see me doing bigger and better. And I’m EXCITED. I can’t wait to throw myself into this life thing fully and unapologetically. That’s my goal for 2009
And FirstL8dy, girl, I feel you! Those “eureka” moments are great!
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gt — December 19, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
Thanks B.
I love your passion.
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