conversation: the guilts…
I’m not ashamed to admit that I have no plans for this upcoming Holiday but I’m sure *hopes GT doesn’t play herself* I’ll get invited to someone’s barbecue by Saturday. But honestly…by the time a Holiday weekend arrives I just wanna crawl into bed with a good read, pop in a DVD, turn on the AC and order from the take out menu. But today’s talk shop is about relaxing when we want to relax without feeling guilty about not showing up to someone else’s hoorah. Especially when they in an alternative universe live far far far away. With work, obligations, relationships and family R&R is hard to come by these days so when you do get a breather should you feel the guilts about becoming the laziest person who ever lazied...choosing your bed over your friends?
Q&A: What’ the best way to let someone down for something that you’re not up to doing?
Posted by gt on July 1, 2009
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Simone — July 1, 2009 @ 1:43 pm
I feel very little guilt. All my pals understand that “Sunday” is pretty much my day. Don’t ask me to do anything on that day. Period.
I have no qualms with saying, I don’t feel like being social. If I know I’m going to be bad compnay, I say so and don’t impose my negative Nelly vibe on someone else’s parade.
Being bad compnay is more unacceptable than “I can’t make it.”
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Alicia — July 1, 2009 @ 2:54 pm
I feel a bit of guilt, but most of my friends are very understanding. I’ll usually tell them that I have plans.
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ChocolateOrchid — July 1, 2009 @ 5:18 pm
I do feel some guilt when I have to deline an event. Most times people understand. I don’t think that I should because I understand that we all need our “down time” from the daily hustlin’ and bustlin’ that we do but I do still feel a bit of guilt w/that.
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Brandie — July 1, 2009 @ 5:51 pm
Oh…my friends know me! I’m very blunt when I don’t want to do something. I figure my absence is much better than the “Betty Downer” version of myself. For the more fragile of my friends, I just leave it at “I got other plans with XYZ person that you don’t know.” My 4th weekend is full of a whole bunch of nothing and I can’t wait for it to officially begin tomorrow afternoon!!!
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TJ — July 1, 2009 @ 7:10 pm
The words “no, thank you” work really well for me. Really well.
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Shell — July 1, 2009 @ 9:12 pm
What I do now, If I can’t make something. I let people know as soon as I can, propose to get together another time. Maybe with an event more laid back. This way everyone is happy.
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Shang — July 2, 2009 @ 4:31 pm
I do feel guilt but I just tell them “no thanks” or “some other time.” Thats usually the end but I do have one or two friends that come back with the “Why? You ain’t doing nothing?”
Yes, that’s true! I am not doing nothing and I want it that way.
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Lindsey Lou! — July 3, 2009 @ 1:02 am
I do feel that way sometimes, but honestly, I have way too much schoolwork to do. That’s mostly my fault for procrastinating, but I’m going to take advantage of the time off from work and school just so that I can get some work and school assignments done. *SMH* Either way, my mother actually made out of town plans w/out telling me as did pop-pop, so I don’t feel too bad. The Peachtree Road Race will pass by right outside my window and I’m a train ride away from the fireworks. And it’s not the first holiday I’ve chosen to spend alone…no big deal. At least give everyone a courtesy call.
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CC — July 4, 2009 @ 6:02 am
Thank you for this! I, after all my life, have learned to embrace and enjoy R&R and not feel bad one bit. There is so much pressure from family and friends during the holidays at times, but you have to do what is best for you. I simply say I have other obligations. The way I look at it, if you are not in the mood (b/c parties take up some energy at times) then you would most likely be there thinking about being somewhere else. Enjoy your ME time.
xo,
CC
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First L8dy — July 6, 2009 @ 2:10 pm
I just don’t answer the phone! LOL! However, I am finding with each day I grow a little more “ball” and am able to say gurl please, I aint leavin my bed!
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